zenA very moving and honest piece appeared in the NY TIMES today….an essay on saying goodbye to someone who is dying and dealing with the death of someone close to you.

The connections we have with one another are the most profound of our experiences, and losing those one of the most momentous.   There is a great deal of anxiety in the thought of such moments, wanting to make them as profound in speaking the words…. so that they match the emotions we are feeling, but getting the words right and the timing proper is nearly impossible.  Don’t worry so much about making the perfect ‘goodbye scene’ with the person whom you cherish and don’t fret if you’ve not been able to tell them your deepest thoughts and feelings.  Know in your heart your sense of gratitude, longing, sadness, or whatever emotion you are feeling…and let that be enough.  Do your best to speak loving and caringly to that person….and leave it be at that.