- The Duck
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Give me a ham sandwich and a beer.” The bartender stutters, “But you’re a duck.” The duck says, “You’ve got good eyes, now how about that ham sandwich and a beer? The bartender stutters again, “But you can talk!” The duck says, “You’ve got good ears too, now give me my ham sandwich and beer!” So the bartender serves the duck.
Every day for 5 days the duck comes into the bar and orders a ham sandwich and a beer. On the 6th day, the bartender decides to make a little small talk. He says, “We don’t get many ducks in here. What are you doing in these parts?” The duck replies, “I’m working a construction job across the street.”
The next day, a fellow from the circus comes in for a beer, and the bartender tells him about the talking duck. He leaves his card and tells the bartender to have the duck call him for a high-paying job.
Later the duck comes in and the bartender gives him the card and says, “This guy from the circus said for you to call him and he’ll give you a high-paying job.” The duck says, “The circus!!? Isn’t that a big tent with a hole in the top, where all the people go?” The bartender replies, “Yeah.” The duck says, “I wonder what they want with a dry-waller?”