Tag Archives: HUMOR


duck-783691_1280Here is another one of the ‘TOP 21 JOKES FROM BOB SHANE’…..


  1. The Duck


A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Give me a ham sandwich and a beer.” The bartender stutters, “But you’re a duck.” The duck says, “You’ve got good eyes, now how about that ham sandwich and a beer? The bartender stutters again, “But you can talk!” The duck says, “You’ve got good ears too, now give me my ham sandwich and beer!” So the bartender serves the duck.


Every day for 5 days the duck comes into the bar and orders a ham sandwich and a beer. On the 6th day, the bartender decides to make a little small talk. He says, “We don’t get many ducks in here. What are you doing in these parts?” The duck replies, “I’m working a construction job across the street.”


The next day, a fellow from the circus comes in for a beer, and the bartender tells him about the talking duck. He leaves his card and tells the bartender to have the duck call him for a high-paying job.


Later the duck comes in and the bartender gives him the card and says, “This guy from the circus said for you to call him and he’ll give you a high-paying job.” The duck says, “The circus!!? Isn’t that a big tent with a hole in the top, where all the people go?” The bartender replies, “Yeah.” The duck says, “I wonder what they want with a dry-waller?”




batonColon screening took a great leap forward with the FDA approval today of the COLOGARD stool test.  This test does genetic screening on your bowel movements to check for genetic defects that are found in cancerous polyps and tissues that are sloughed-off into the bowel movement.  Using this $599 test, you will be able potentially to avoid colonoscopy by screening for hidden blood & genetic material in the bowel, to look for the earliest signs of polyp growth or cancer formation.

Barriers to the broad use of this type of testing include:  lack of equivalence to colonoscopy (which is still superior to this type of screening for finding cancers and polyps, cost (it’s not cheap…and insurance is not going to pay for this), and the need for patients to handle their own feces to get the sample.

Here is the process for collecting the stool specimen (CLICK>>>>HERE<<<<)   Is this too much to ask of our patients…to handle their own poo?  I don’t know…but Ben Stiller put it best when he asked on the YOUTUBE BELOW (just click it)



I am a big fan of the Warner Brothers cartoons.  Both the humor and insight in these cartoons often captures a concept perfectly, demonstrating that laughing at our challenges helps keep us humble and open. In the famous “One Froggy Evening” a Ralph Kramdenesque fellow discovers a singing frog and hopes to make big money on his find.  Unfortunately, things conspire against him along the way, with ‘bad timing’ the biggest of them all;  the frog just won’t perform on cue.  

This frog is not unlike symptoms that patients will describe to me.  No matter how hard we look, we cannot find a cause of explanation, but they remain steadfast in their convictions that something is ‘not right’.  They are having their own MICHIGAN J FROG experience unfortunately…but it’s up to the doctors to remember to keep their minds open so they can potentially see the hidden answer to the symptoms described.


First Prostate ExamWe’ve all heard of placebo medications, phony pills that are meant to make us feel better just by suggesting that they can provide relief from some medical issue or another.  Well, this humorous piece from THE ONION, a satirical faux-news website, offers a funny take on the value of seeing the PLACEBO DOCTOR.

Of course, this is just tongue-in-cheek, but the idea has some merit.   Much of what I do throughout the day is tell patients that the symptoms or issues that have them concerned are NOT a sign of any serious health issue.  They need reassurance with something that has changed or come to their attention, and it is my job to assess them and make sure all is well.   This is most often the case, I’d say 85% or more as a simple guesstimate, so a PLACEBO DOCTOR would be helpful 85% of the time if he/she just said….”No worries…you are fine”

Of course, if he would miss the other 15-or-so percent of issues that are ‘real’….but in this error of cost savings, perhaps that’s just what the  insurance company ordered!





07_10With the passing of Gene Wilder, I wanted to reprise this old blog-post……..in his honor.


Gene Wilder is among my favorite actors….for many reasons:  Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles…amazing.   Also, he was at University of Iowa….which always interested me (so was another of my favorites…Kurt Vonnegut)….but I digress.

This short video provides some nice insight into his personal vision …and perhaps is a comment for us all>>>>>



HouseMy daughter is a devotee of the Dr. House show.  She enjoys the medical mystery that underlies each episode and Hugh Laurie, the curmudgeonly star of the show.

In talking to her recently about the program, it reminded me that the fellow who advises the show on the various medical maladies that House and his team of doctors ponder was an upper-classman with me at Hopkins, Dr. John Sotos.

John was an interesting fellow, one year ahead at JHSOM (Johns Hopkins School of Medicine) who had a passion for arcane medical diagnosis.   He would ‘pimp’ us on various symptoms, seeing if we could figure out the strange syndrome he was describing as we honed our diagnostic skills on the wards.  His passion for the arcane led him to create ZEBRA CARDS, a set of trivia cards on medical maladies meant for education and fun.  This interest in the bizarre in medicine, led him on many career paths, but the one that we all experience is as a medical consultant for the Dr House show, for which his Zebra cards form the basis.

So….let your passions be your guide…you never know where they might lead.


teeth-1Art H has been a patient for a long time and he’s 80.  He’s known as ‘the oldest guy playing hockey’ or at least one  of the oldest, and he’s a legend to some.

Art’s engagement in life is what keeps him young.  He recognizes he’s growing older but does not let that stop him from doing what he loves, even if it’s a younger mans sport.

So….I’m talking to Art the other day and he is chuckling to himself as we are talking about his hockey playing….and he tells me that he’s ‘famous on the internet’ for his smile.  Art smiles a lot, but I have no idea what he means until he has me google  ’12 best toothless smiles in hockey’.   Sure enough….#11 is Art, among some of hockey’s best known players, and what is the moniker next to his picture:  THIS OLD GUY….that’s all.  Everyone else has their famous name next to their picture, but Art….is just some old guy.

And that to me is the moral of this story…that life is enjoyed and well lived when we engage in our lives for the thrill of it, for the energy it gives us, and not for any type of recognition…he’s just THIS OLD GUY to some, but he’s got something figured out in my book.



dandeliionKeeping a proper perspective on things is important;  whether it’s health related or some other topic, we all can see things from a different point of view.  This type of thinking is critical, and as Don Coffey, PhD….my great professor at Hopkins used to tell all of his students when asked how he remained a productive research scientist well into his 70’s…..

“The mind is like a parachute, it only works when it’s open.”

So….take a look at these interesting maps of the world: